Part Two….of Our Journey Down the Dirt Road To Princess Rose Petal

11-14-2015    Part Two….of Our Journey Down the Dirt Road To Princess Rose Petal

Part 1 is here:   http://borninyourheart.blogspot.com/2014/11/emotions-getting-best-of-me.html

After all of the prayers, fears, tears, drama, and preparations, we were standing right beside our second daughter in the only place she would have known as home, her orphanage (SWI…Social Welfare institution).

Sister Butterfly would be the next to get a hug and then finally me. It was COLD, really cold, but I hardly noticed in all of this emotion.  I was blown away by her perfect acceptance of us. HE had really prepared her as we had prayed. It really was a reunion as Jim had said. We would be taken to a conference room. It was warm enough. There was fresh fruit and the Rose, “gobbled these dragon fruit things down like nothing I had never seen.”  We had brought her food treats and she gobbled those down too.  She wanted to feed me!  OH my, a tender hearted child. Months earlier after learning that this SWI did not have any toys or means for the children to play, we had the honor of helping to plant a playground and toys in the common area. So we were given a tour of that and played.  We only saw a few other children. Some were in school, others “put away”, while the rest were in foster care.

We seemed to have made a friend of another precious girl. We were told she was 13 yrs. old. She would befriend us and appear in all of all pictures. She played so well with the Rose. The common area was outside and by this time, I again felt that damp cold tickling my lungs and went into coughing spasms. The kind that makes you pee your pants. My chest began to ache. I “sucked it up to play on the new equipment with a few of the children including our new daughter and the Butterfly.”   We would be given a tour into The Rose’s room. My heart sank.  She spent five years in a small dark concrete room with several other fragile children. Oh what she must have endured. The windows had bars but no glass or way to keep the room warm and no heat.  It was probably 20 degrees inside her room. It was the best of the worst that could be. We noticed the beds were very worn and the paint was picked/chipped off. I did not stay long .   

The 13 yr old is in Pink. The Butterfly at age 6 is in black, and the Rose age 5 in red

The Rose came to us very delayed. She was 5 years old weighing 24 pounds with a developmental age of 2 1/2 years old. She also had what I am calling, “Orphanage amnesia.”  She would not recognize anyone or thing for years in her pictures. Once, When we showed her the old room and bed she slept in she said, “Mommy, Jessie does not sleep their anymore. Jessie sleeps upstairs (as she pointed to her room in our home).”

Life can be unfair in all kinds of ways. Her Social Welfare Institution was not the best nor was it the worse. I am thankful for blankets on her bed, the food and care that she got.

We would have to leave her for the day. In some ways, I could not imagine walking out of those gates without her. In other ways, I wanted to run as fast as I could from all of the feelings and emotions of oppression, depression, lack, and fear that I was feeling.

We returned the next day to a VERY excited little girl. She was hugging us and calling us Mommy and Daddy. While she was in my arms her cheeks were completely swollen out with food. SO MUCH FOOD. My heart sank when I learned our scraps from breakfast were brought back and sat down for a few of the children to devour.  She ate that food so fast to be sure to get some, that she puked in my arms.   

We spent the morning playing, observing, talking, and learning. We had brought supplies, money and toys all donated from the families before. We shared those gifts with the children and staff. All of the children were empty, slow to react, and confused as to what to do with what we were giving them.

Near the end of our allowed time, I would have an encounter with the 13 yr. old girl. She now wanted a family. After observing our time with the Rose, she wanted a mommy and daddy too. She grabbed a hold of me and practically knocked me down. She licked my cheeks (as she did not know how to kiss) and embraced me so hard. She wanted us to take her home too. Tears rolled down my heart broken checks. She would age out in a few months and loose that chance forever. She was NOT paper ready. The director of the SWI promised to get her ready so we could help find her a family. That promise would NOT be honored once we returned home. The director believed that she was NOT a candidate for foreign adoption. She would stay in the SWI.  I am crying now as I wonder what ever became of her. She would be 16 yrs. old now.  I prayed then and now that she has found the love of a family and is doing well.

By this time, in the course of the day, I had observed the Rose using the toilet on the ground, hitting, spitting and kicking an old lady, and gorging herself with foods she clearly was not used to eating.

AND she would be ours in just a few more days.  I was very quiet on the LONGGGGGGG ride back past the hanging horses, insane poverty, dirt and noise.

Trying my best to process all of this left me more than drained. I am so thankful for the GOD anointing to finish what He had started in me.  We would be her family in a few short hours. Her orphanage survivorship skills were very eye opening and alarming to me!  But through all of this, I caught a spark in her spirit, a glimmer of a hope and a very contagious excitement. Her bravery left me in awe of her. She knew that she knew that her family had FINALLY COME….and something wonderful was about to happen. On this day, things were about to finally change.

I wrote this as I was processing the all of it.

December 11, 2011, 8:00 pm


Jessie, I cannot imagine what it has been like to be you….
I would be so afraid if it were me too…

To go from what you know, understand and the place you call home..
Into a scary new place that is filled with so many unknowns..

Trust in the work that He has done inside of you…
To bring you into a beautiful place that is brand new….

Filled with a love that flows free….
To help you grow into whom you are supposed to be….

Let us take you by your hand…
And lead you into a safe new land…..

Where you will be cherished for the treasure you are…
And live a life of wonders by far…

You have to trust in the one who made you…
To safely see you all the way through…

I will look to the same sky we share just now and say another prayer…
And tomorrow we will all three be there….

It is our hope that you will choice to say yes…
And ride the road that will surely bless…

Praying for you Sweet Jessie as it all comes down to this…
It’s not about us, or you…but it’s about JESUS!


Love
Mommy

To be continued….

Thank You for coming by

Tammy