Journey To Princess Rose Petal Part 5: How is life and why did I share?
Sorry for leaving you hanging, we had a busy trade show kind of two weeks.
You can find parts 1-4 here:
Where was I, Oh Yes…coming home.
The first 3 months were VERY demanding and VERY hard. It is really amazing that I was able to function at all. Between my already hectic schedule and the new demands of a second child, a very needy one, I was honestly beside myself at most times. I remember the best cries I have ever had were in my 2 second shower. Often times with her laying outside of the door.
I had never been exposed to such neglect and the impact it could have. NOT every adoption goes this way. Some are much easier and others are MUCH harder. Her orphanage survivor behavior got the best of me most days. In all of this, the thing was, we could see major life changing beautiful advancements too. She was learning how to be loved, disciplined, trained, family skills, and to be a part of a family.
Can you imagine being institutionalized for 5 years and seeing kids come and go, BUT not you?
She LOVED her new life and was so brave to embrace it. I can remember the day she had the mother of all fits. I was sitting with her….in the corner (facing out). We spent a good amount of time there in the first month. She looked at me with the most pitiful look. I could just feel her saying; I don’t know how to be different yet. Can’t I just be the way I am for just a little bit longer? It is so familiar and safe to me. Without a doubt her bravery was like nothing I had ever experienced. She trusted us in spite of the structure we were putting in place for her.
One day we set out to take a walk around our block. She was on a low riding toy and took off in the street (Like get run over by a car kind of a worry.) I called for her, but she kept going. When I caught her I explained why this was not good and took the low rider from her. She was so angry she swung her hand at my face and smacked me harder than I have ever been smacked. It was at that moment that every maturity left me. I walked away from her (Dad was there) I went home with the butterfly and her bike in my hand. I had finally had all that I thought I could take. When the two of them got back home, I refused to even look at her. I was so out of sorts. From all of the accidental head butts, fits, rages, behaviors, night terrors, Velcro child non stop, medical needs, I was finally beaten, or so I thought. She was crying. And then I caught that look on her face of absolute sorrow and grief. It was very kind that begs for forgiveness even when it does not know how to ask. I grabbed her up and gave her a hug. That was the last time she ever hit anyone again.
Each day got better as we all learned each other and she could see that we were very consistent with everything. I stayed with her EVERYWHERE for about a year and one half and until she felt secure enough to be in a Sunday School class without me there.
The journey was a lot of work, but fast forward, we have a treasure that is just blossoming. She is filled to over flowing, so funny, loves fiercely, tendered hearted and feels good in the skin she was given. She belongs.
This is National Adoption Month and Thanksgiving. I am so grateful for the family God has created for us.
I could not imagine my life without any one of our children. Would you please join me in praying for all of the children who are voiceless and do not have a family to call their own. Would you do something to help the least of these? You know what you have felt a tug to do. Yes, we sacrificed MUCH in man’s eyes. And not all of it was “perfect and pretty” Anything we sacrificed in getting them home was all HIS. And if he opens the door to use what we have left to add another child, we will not hesitate. Things rust, get worn out and NEVER give you any love back. Investing into a life of a child will bring the best return you could ever hope to get. Generations are effected for ETERNITY by saying yes to sacrificing and daring to get a little dirty. Adoption is a miracle. Sometimes it takes a small village to get one child home. Would you search yourself?
I got to go; our beautiful once forgotten daughter is singing praise songs. I don’t want to miss that!
"There is nothing like taking a chance on love. Love is really worth it all. We were made for it."
Our first Christmas. We were home just about 24 hours :)
This year.....raising her hands in victory
The smiles of the Rose Petal