Part 4: Journey to
Princess Rose Petal Back to the Hotel. Some Hard to Read
You can find parts 1-3 here: http://borninyourheart.com/
Before we arrived to
the hotel, we had lunch. I had remembered
her being given our left overs earlier. The Rose would have her first pick of
foods. WOW, did she eat. I think more than her weight. We were told that she
was accustom to just two- three small bowls of rice a day. She stuffed her little mouth so full.
At one point during a
meal, Daddy had to reach in and get some of the food out as she was choking.
Even that did not slow her sown down.
We got back to the Hotel. We played and had a bonding fun
time. We noticed that she rattled when she breathed and her chest was vibrating.
I was sure she had the pneumonia. We took down her hair and decided to see if
she would allow us to give her a bath. Our
precious Butterfly went first to show her it was ok, and how we would bath her.
She striped off her clothes, all 4 layers of them faster than Houdini.
She wanted a bath. What we would see sent me away to cry in private. She had sores
all over her little skeleton of a body. She had scratched them so much she had
infected several of them. She was an itchy mess. She also had battle wounds of
all kinds. Some of them were from being tethered (tied down to be kept in
place) and others unknown. We already
knew from readying and observing that this was a common practice. This was probably in her early years. The
Hotel lobby had a really BIG teddy bear. He was in a pretty red chair. I
watched her run up to Him and quickly tie his hands to the chair with the
ribbons hanging off of him. That told a heartbreaking story. The smell that
came from the sores on her body was very foul. It was a rotten type odor. Her chest
rattle was even louder than ever without the cloth to buff it. I was sure her
rash was scabies. I had a treatment for that with me. During her bath, she
scrubbed and scrubbed herself for more than 1 hr. Just over and over. Three
warm tub fills of water. Each time the
color was less and less dark brown. She was delighted with the warm water and
her first bath. Daddy took care of most
of this while I was working on a doctor. My loving husband sat with his knees on a hard
floor, while she took her bath. We took her to a clinic. They were not sure
about the rash. They gave us some medicine. They also were unsure of the chest
rattle. We got some meds for that too. Now that much time has gone by, I know
that the rash was food allergies. We would have years of working out her body to
accept foods. But Thanks be to a healing
God, we have pretty much made it! Her
breath smelled like ammonia. I was sure she had some kidney thing going on. I
could smell her stomach. Something was not right. Our child was in so much pain
in her gut, it broke me. It turns out after MUCH testing that she had an
After her bath, she loved being clean, taken care of, and
having new PJ’s that matched sissy’s. We needed to be careful about that
rash….I was pretty convinced it was scabies and treated her for it.L She had so much going on; I was on high
alert to protect the Butterfly. I had brought bleach wipes with me, so to add
to the all of it. I became a cleaning freak.
Guess what we discovered. She has
naturally wavy hair. It is so beautiful.
We were so amazed at just how perfect she was to us. During the first handful of days I would be
stretched in ways I never knew I could be. She decided that I would be all
hers! AND glued herself to me. She rejected Daddy and would share her things
with the Butterfly but NOT ME. She threw
the best tantrum fits I had ever seen and a lot of them. Like 10 or more a day!
Kicking, screaming and rolling around.
She would eat any and all food that she could find, even off of the
floor. That was really hard to watch. She would stuff her mouth so full that it
would ooze from her mouth. I finally had wrapped her in a towel while she ate.
She had zero eye and hand coordination and would spill everything. She also
could not walk more than a few feet without falling to the ground. Her muscle
tone was minimal. Her eyesight was obviously bad. She was a hitter and her target would be
Daddy. In all of this, she was also
sharing, loving, nurturing, and really trying very hard. We could see her
embrace our training, disciplines, and love and that encouraged us. I had MANY
melt downs. I was so ready to be HOME.
Jim’s
maturity was unreal. He took each hit, smack, and issue in complete love. He
knew that she was a treasure and that things would be changing. He, like our
God, looked for the bigger picture of who she was. I was in freak-out
mode. AND then, I watched her sleep.
Honestly…it was a highlight at that point. I was still sick myself. I also can
recount how small and immature I really was. It is when you are called to something
hard that you see yourself for the first time.
We were all
settled in one night and then she sat straight up and began to scream and
thrash and moan the most awful heart wrenching sounds I have ever heard. It immediately
put me into a fear and trauma mode. I thought it was grief. It was NIGHT
terrors. She was totally asleep and had no idea. After we got her settled ½
hour later, she slept peacefully. But we would have this for more than a year
and often. After that first attack, I
would spend the next hour trying to pray and settle Jim down. He had become so
angry at the thought of what all might be behind her terrors. He wanted to hurt
someone. After some time home, I am happy to report that in HIS mercies …He
healed her from those night terrors…and they went away. I fell in a deep love with
her for all that she had been through after that first night terror. I knew
then that I was the one that needed changed and that I would be battle worn and
never the same. But, I got a new resolve and I would roll up my sleeves and
work this through with Jim at my side.
We also
discovered that she could not handle much. Going anywhere was too much for her.
Certain fabrics would scare her. She had been pretty much confined to an area
most of her life and noise, smell, sounds, and stimulus terrified her. She has
DONE amazing works to push past all of this over the last three years. I am so
proud of her. She is my hero.
Scary Medical exam
All during our hotel stay she would
go to the bathroom and get a towel and begin to scrub the walls down? What was
this motivation? Did she feel she needed
to clean to keep us? Or was this her regular job? Sometimes we would help her; other
times distract her away with play.
She was so
empty emotionally. She could NOT get enough love. She needed held and loved
every second of every minute. It would take its toll on us. BUT, He carried us
through it. Her love tank was past empty. Funny thing is, she is now so full
and overflowing that she freely gives it away.
She could
not be more precious or perfect. She never invited life’s harshness to herself.
She was voiceless and had no say.
Our time in
the hotel was hard. But, each day she gave a little and so did I. She was learning to trust us. I admired her
bravery so much. How could she know we had anything to offer her, if not for
God’s work in her?
I remember
arriving at the Hong Kong Airport. As the doors swung open the hallelujah Chorus
began to play. It was as if it had been waiting for us. I began to feel soft
drops of water roll down my cheeks. Thank you God!
She traveled
like a champ across the oceans to a home that she had hoped would be hers…and
it was waiting for her.
Come back
and I will give you a glimpse of our first year home and who she is now.
Then I want
to wrap this up to the very important reason I am sharing all of this with you.
Blessings
Tam
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